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The entrance to the Mary Jo Wegner Arboretum is a sea of tulips.

They’re mostly red, with a few deep yellows in the mix. They wind around the main street into the area, and guests are invited to sit on a park bench to enjoy the ribbon of flowers. The bench is in memory of Mary Stahmann.

Every year, Mary Tidwell eagerly awaits the first tulips of spring.

It’s because of her that they exist at all. Tidwell’s parents set up an endowment at the Sioux Falls Area Community Foundation, and after they died, she began advising it. It’s a role she takes seriously.

“I try to choose things that reflect their values and interests, or in some way that I think would please them,” Tidwell said. “As I began studying Parkinson’s Disease, I found that tulips are the international symbol of the disease.”

Tidwell’s mother – Mary Stahmann – had Parkinson’s, and so does Tidwell.

When she learned about the symbolism of the tulips, she decided planting them for all to enjoy would be a great way to honor her mother. First, she provided funding to plant the tulips. But then she began to think – what happens in the future? Will the park continue to keep the tulips going?

So Tidwell set up a second endowment – this one to maintain the tulip gardens at the arboretum.

“Having a maintenance fund to pay for the tulips makes it easier for them to keep it going,” Tidwell said, noting that sometimes the tulips suffer from bad weather or bunnies. The endowment fund provides a source to keep replanting.

Mary Kolsrud, chief philanthropy officer for the Community Foundation, said finding joy in charitable giving can make it meaningful.

“Mary Tidwell is such a great example of honoring her family’s values and really thinking about what her parents would have loved – and then supporting those causes. It’s inspiring to witness, and so many others benefit from her thoughtfulness,” Kolsrud said.

Tidwell said spring brings excitement every year.

“I always end up calling out to the arboretum and asking if the tulips are blooming or if the rabbits have eaten them,” Tidwell said. “I feel joy when I see the flowers. And it gives me a sense of hope, and a feeling of being close to my mom again. I’m sure the Parkinson’s wasn’t the legacy she wanted to leave me, but it’s OK.”

Tidwell notes that medicine at the time was so different – not only in terms of disease treatment but in how women were treated.

“My mom was a trooper. She never gave up and she never complained,” she said.

Tidwell said she isn’t looking for recognition with her giving, but she wants to make a difference.

“I want people to say, ‘isn’t this neat’ that this happened,” she said. “And I know that I was part of it, and that’s all I need to know.”

Meaningful giving

She said she honors her parents and her own giving through supporting many traditional local charities and emerging ones. It’s something she’s done for nearly 20 years as a successor advisor to the family’s endowment.

“I really have my parents to thank for giving me this opportunity. They could have put their money elsewhere, but I think they were smart to put it at the Community Foundation,” she said. “It’s been a responsibility I have taken seriously, but it’s been fun to find those things that I think my dad would enjoy, or my mom would like.”

One way she’s done that is through supporting Native American students. Her father, Dr. Fred Stahmann, established medical school scholarships at the University of South Dakota for Native American students. The two women who were the first two recipients presented her dad with a star quilt their grandmothers had made to say thank you.

“When they left, I said to my dad, do you know what a star quilt is, and what it means?”

He didn’t know a lot about it, and Tidwell explained the significance – and what an honor it was. “He was quite moved,” Tidwell said. After that, he used the lap quilt all the time. He so treasured it, he was buried with it, she said.

So when the Community Foundation told her of an opportunity to provide star quilts for graduating Native American students, she was immediately interested.

“Star quilts mean something to me, and they did to my family,” Tidwell said. She noted that, again, this was her parents’ endowment, and combining the meaning of the quilt with their passion for education felt like the ideal way to give back.

It’s all part of how intentional her giving has been.

“I just think about my parents and what they would like,” she said. “Setting up a family endowment like they did lets you serve as an example for how to be generous.”

Generations of generosity

She’ll set that same example for her daughters – who will advise her endowment when she passes. “I’ve written them a letter saying these are the things we valued, and you might think about those things. But I don’t know what life will be like in 40 years, and maybe there will be other places that can use money,” Tidwell said.

She remembers the first time she gave to charity.

She was 8, and she and her friends held a neighborhood carnival. They pretended to be acrobats and would tumble in the grass, and they would sing songs and jump rope. They had popcorn, and they charged guests 10 cents admission.

Those dimes added up – and they found themselves with about $6.75.

“My mom said, ‘well, what are you going to do with it,’ and I said, ‘I guess we’ll give it to someone who needs it.’”

They did – dropping the coins off at what is now LifeScape.

“This was in 1952, or 1954, and recently I found the receipt. It said ‘Dear Mary and friends, thank you for your neighborhood carnival and the money you raised. The children will be so pleased to receive a new ball.’”

Tidwell sits back, incredulous. She’s sure her mom called ahead to let them know they were coming. But it’s a moment she’s thought about often.

“How many kids have that opportunity early in their lives – the experience of giving to help others? The context of giving may change, but the purpose and experience are universal and forever,” Tidwell said. “What a gift my parents gave me. A gift that lasts generations.”